It happened this week-ish: Tiger Woods' newest porn star Joslyn James (with pics), justice for Jon Gosselin, Billy Corgan + Jessica Simpson = WTF?!

Posted by Amanda Allwood on Mon, Dec 14, 2009 at 10:45 AM

*Let's kick this off with some good news... Judge Orders Jon Gosselin to Stop Making Media Appearances!!!! Dear Your Honor, On behalf of America, I just want to say thank you, for all you do to bring justice and peace to our great nation. Now, let's talk about Sarah Palin...

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*The classiest show on TV (closely followed by Tool Academy), Jersey Shore, is taking a step back and doing something kinda sorta admirable. The producers have decided to remove a clip where Snooki (pictured right) gets punched in the face by a dude, but still address the issue and provide info on abuse. I want to respect this decision but at the same time, I also want to call them out on this being a big fat oily publicity stunt. Next thing you know, Snooki is gonna be Tiger's next mistress.

*Speaking of that fantastic feline, Tiger Woods, the man, the myth, the unfaithful-cuz-he-loves-porn-stars-more-than-his-Nike-contract legend, is having the worst week in the history of weeks. The mistress count is up to lucky number 13 and wow-wee, number 13, she is something else. Porn star Joslyn James (Pics after the jump...kinda NSFW), is allegedly just another member of his ever-growing harem. Keep 'em coming ladies, I need something to write about next week.

Along with some porn star pics after the jump, we also have mismatched couples, slashed tires and well, c'mon, you think I'm done with Cheatergate 2009? No freaking way.

Joslyn James (Tiger's alleged 13th mistress)
  • Joslyn James (Tiger's alleged 13th mistress)

*This week in mismatched couple news, I bring you two stories to try and wrap your head around, fail miserably and move onto something less complex to think about, something that makes more sense, like physics or gravity.

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Couple one: Benji Madden (the other half of that Good Charlotte band that was super-cool when TRL was in it's prime) and Holly Madison (Hugh Hefner's former girlfriend, and star of The Girls Next Door). Ummmmm, well, I guess after sharing a bed with Heff for that long, anything that isn't 80 years old is gonna look like a lil piece o' heaven.

Couple two: Billy Corgan (no words, just this picture to the left) and Jessica Simpson (if you don't know who she is please stop reading). I kinda feel bad for poor Jess, it's been a rough year and I think we can all agree that the dude-bro, athletic, hot-type isn't really working out for her. Maybe a bald weirdo, 13 years her senior is just what she needs? Maybe he just really likes her boobs? The mystery lives on.

*I know, we should all lay off Tiger for this whole one-million-mistress-march he's conducting, but I cannot simply skim an article which cites a text he sent that read "because I'm blasian : )" and NOT comment on how effing ridonkulous and lame he seems. Blasian?! Really Tiger!? Trust me, these ladies aren't flocking to you because of your mixed ethnicity, just say "it's cuz I'm rich as shit and if you get preggers I will pay you millions of dollars to shut the hell up, because I can."

*I don't care who Eddie Cibrian is, but this dude is a Cheater McGee and I think that Elin Woods may need to take a pointer from his ex-wife and start Carrie Underwooding some cars (Under normal circumstances, I do not support violence to tires).

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