If you’re a fan of non-sequitur, ultra bizarre humor (of course you are), then you should probably be watching the YouTube series Gayle
. I originally discovered Gayle via Twitter account through her hysterical updates (she founded “Mothers Against Road Head”). and quickly binged watched the first two seasons, pausing only to laugh to the point of wheezing.
Gayle (Chris Fleming) is a force of nature. She does lines of Kashi cereal in the morning. She vacuums her driveway. She voluntarily got a premature C-section because being pregnant disrupted her spin class performance. She is prone to rage, especially when speed-walking. She berates her husband (whose face is never seen on camera) and her daughter Terri (Melissa Styrpe) constantly. She loathes her neighbor/arch-nemesis Bonnie (played by Fleming's real life mother Nancy). In fact, she loathes pretty much everything except Yanni and a chubby orthodontist named Bruce.
In short, Gayle is dangerously insane.
And dangerously funny.Despite a running of time of three to 10 minutes, Gayle
is packed with as many one-liners (“My Labradoodle just got accepted to Carnegie-Melon!”) and visual gags as an episode of Arrested Development
and has even attracted some big stars (Margaret Cho makes an understated and hilarious cameo in season 2 as kidnapped cellist Yo Yo Ma). It's bizarre, filthy, obtuse and the freshest thing in comedy happening now.
With season three of Gayle debuting this week, I decided it would be fun to interview the lady herself and give all you CL readers a dose of the wonderful lunacy of the lady herself.So without further ado, I present Gayle Waters-Waters.
Gayle! The last time we saw you, you were crushing an egret. What have you been up to since then?
Yeah, I beat the shit out of an egret with my legs, but only because he came at my husband Dave and made him faint. That’s a loaded question, what I’ve been up to, because I’ve been up to so much. I got a new Pilates for “Women Who Aren’t Afraid to Die” DVD so I’ve been doing that as well as crunches on my fridge. My core could basically take a 60 mph Mazda crash right now.
Is it cold where you are?
I live in Northbread, Mass., so yes. I’m wearing 15 fleeces and look like a polar bear with a woman’s head.
What’s your opinion on global warming?
As long as we get to see more Al Gore popping up, I don’t give a shit.
Are you following the Olympics?
Bonnie and I are doing our own version of the Olympics where we chase families of fat ducks in a nearby conservation land and then throw Yellow Peppers at our husbands.
What’s your take on all of these gay athletes?
I love it. Russia’s a hellhole though for not being ok with it. I have a sick fantasy where I tie Putin down to a computer chair and make him listen to Dan Savage podcasts.
Name a famous person who needs to shut their mouth.
Zooey Deschanel; and she need to not only shut her mouth but her eyes too. Those things look like a rough draft of a Pixar studios dragonfly protagonist.
Name three grocery items you recently purchased:
Chobani, 69 paper towel rolls and a ham roast that could feed a lion pride for an entire calendar month.
Speaking of groceries, we’re getting our first Trader Joe’s here in St. Pete; any advice to first-time shoppers?
YEAH; PETITION TO BULLDOZE THAT SHIT because it’s the hair brained business plan of an improv 101 alumni. Trader Joe’s is the Zooey Deschanel of grocery stores; I GET IT, YOU DO THINGS A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY! If I wanted to have fun while I shopped I’d bring a fun noodle and a boogie board. All the employees think they’re the shit for trying to goof around with you and build a rapport, “Looks like somebody’s gonna have a fun weekend…” NO, I’M NOT BRIAN! I’M ACTUALLY BUYING ALL THESE SQUASHES TO PUNT THEM INTO MY WOODS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WON’T STOP RECITING HIS LINES FROM ‘PETER PAN THE MUSICAL’ THAT HE DID IN COLLEGE.
Do you ever feel like the demands you put on your daughter Terri might be manifestations of your own unrealized dreams?
The only dreams I have are wet night terrors, so no.
Describe your version of heaven.
My neighbor Bruce feeding me quiche while I’m riding a lion around Whole Foods, with Beef Hutchins playing on the radio. And one of my B-cups is exposed.
Your version of hell.
Bonnie tap dancing to a She & Him album while Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Jimmy Fallon are bouncing their butts together, Mowgli and Balloo style.
Peeing: Sit or stand?
I sneeze so much I don’t pee.
Three things that royally piss you off.
Trader Joe’s, Bonnie’s bullshit and getting voicemails.
How was this interview? Be honest.
Finally, some words of wisdom from Gayle Waters-Waters.
Never drink water.
New episodes of Gayle
premiere every Sunday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdPdiQNWDeY