Silly Rabbit, this vibrator is for grown-ups

The box enticed, "thin lace petite massager is sure to put a twinkle in your eye."

Posted by Sex and Love editor on Sat, Jan 11, 2014 at 7:30 PM

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  • jopen.com

[Editor's note: written by an anonymous contributor]

The box enticed, "thin lace petite massager is sure to put a twinkle in your eye."

As a lady in a long-term monogamous live-in relationship, the toy drawer is no stranger.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I’d really rather not see the boyfriend wielding my bright pink light-saber-like gyrating penis-shaped Rabbit in the bedroom. That’s the heavy-duty artillery I employ when he isn’t there to take care of my business. It may sound crazy but the giant penis-shaped vibrator and the actual manhood itself, all in the same room, can sometimes be a little much (there are, of course, exceptions).

Me, I’d rather use something a little more “couple-friendly,” as adult toy stores like to say. Basically, I want a vibrator that we can use when we want to get freaky together.

Enter Jopen’s Key Charms Petite Lace Massager. It’s a less heavy artillery, and far less menacing vibrator that comes in a discreet black box (unlike tacky plastic porn-star-laden packaging). Yes, it’s still hot pink, but there’s none of that translucent glitter jelly crap. And, as a grown adult, I appreciate the fact the designers decided against making it look like Bambi’s Thumper. Surprisingly, I really don’t want to get fucked (or fuck) anything resembling a bunny, dolphin or butterfly.

Coming in at 3.75 inches long and one-inch wide, there’s nothing physically menacing about the lace-detailed assistant (for either party involved). But don’t let that fool you, one push of that stainless alloy easy push button and it makes good on the “small package, big reward…” as advertised. With five different “intense” patterns, it’s the perfect battery-operated (runs on 1 AA) friend for some seriously decadent foreplay.

The silicone was soft, no hard rubber ridges, and incredibly effective. Did I mention it’s waterproof? To turn it off, not that you’ll want to, just press the silver button down for three seconds and boom, you’re on your way to the next act. No twisting knobs or pushing buttons. And, considering the sheer force of vibrating power being exerted, that little sucker stayed pretty damn quiet too. I, on the other hand, was not so quiet and that’s a good thing friends.

In short, he enjoyed using it on me and I enjoyed, well, everything.

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