Sex on the silver screen: top 10 nude scenes of 2012 (NSFW pics & video)

The year's most memorable moments of movie nudity.

Posted by Sex and Love editor on Fri, Dec 7, 2012 at 1:06 PM

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This post celebrates an unsung hero of cinema, one of the crucial story-telling devices that keeps men coming back to the theater: nudity. Below is a list of the top 10 most memorable moments of female nudity from 2012 (A separate blog will be dedicated to the highlights of male nudity). The feature films on this list were picked solely on the criteria that their nude scenes stuck with us long after we left the theater. As such, the selections were influences by such factors as novelty or the level of fame of the actress who strips down. This list is in no particular order and feel free to add suggestions for alternate nominations in the comments below.

Ted: Seth Macfarlane has a gift for mixing juvenile and adult humor. It would be challenging to think of a scenario that could potentially highlight this skill better than the story of a teddy bear who has the libido and bad habits of a grown man. While we may not get to see Mila Kunis nude in what MacFarlane describes as "a fucked up fairytale," we are treated to a visual demonstration of how Garfield's eyes look like a pair of boobs.

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Piranha 3DDThe follow-up to the surprisingly entertaining Piranha 3D, this sequel attempts to compensate for a lacking plot with sexual hijinks: David Hasselhoff singing a love song to two women he just had a threesome with, a fat man humping a water jet, a piranha that lives in a woman's vagina and castrates the guy who takes her virginity, and a "coochi cam" that captures women climbing out of the adult pool. The highlight of the film, and of all the outrageous nudity, comes when David Koechner's decapitated head motorboats a set of giant bloody boobs. In regards to the merits of the movie, female audiences are more likely to agree with the female lead, who describes the idea of putting a strip club in a water-park as, "a very expensive joke." Male audiences however may agree more with Koechner's character, who sees this perverted water-park as "a stroke of genius."

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Take This Waltz: Michelle Williams is naked in virtually every art-house film she does, which is odd considering she isn't a traditional sex symbol—though, to her credit she does pull off a convincing Marilyn Monroe in My Week with Marilyn. While Williams' nude body may be nothing new, the film features the nude debut of comedian, Sarah Silverman, who appears in a full frontal shower scene opposite Williams and a number of older actresses. In this case, the nudity serves the plot by commenting on the transitory nature of flesh and desire. While some people have said this is an "honest" depiction of female nudity, I would argue that it is just as unrealistic as a scene of sorority girls having a topless pillow fight. Few women shower at the gym, especially after a water aerobics class, and especially in a communal shower lacking private stalls.

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The Sessions: After appearing topless in the 1992 film, The Waterdance, Helen Hunt waited 20 years before doing several full frontal scenes in this year's The Sessions, in which she plays sex surrogate, Cheryl Cohen Greene. As in Take This Waltz, these nude scenes echo one of the main points of the film. As a sexual surrogate, Hunt's character is trying to teach her patient, and the audience, to celebrate their body—a message that would have been lost had Hunt appeared onscreen looking like one of Hollywood's ageless super cougars. The most memorable nude moment comes when Hunt kneels uncomfortably over her patient's face while she fears she is suffocating him with oral sex.

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On the Road: It has taken 50 years to translate On the Road into a film because it has taken that long to come up with a film-able plot for the voice-driven narrative. As with other fans of the book, I winced when I learned Kristen Stewart, the personification of the most un-cool book of a generation, would play a character from the hipster's Bible. Undoubtedly Stewart took the role in an effort to rebrand herself as a more adult actress, which surely also played into her decision to appear topless for the first time in a series of scenes. The most notable nude moment comes when Stewart's character sits naked in the front seat of a truck between the two male leads, and proceeds to stroke their ski poles.

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Magic Mike: There's little concealing the fact that this film was little more than a visual feast for female audiences. However, director Steven Soderbergh was smart enough to offer enough humor and female nudity to keep boyfriends and husbands in their seats for the duration. The film's second scene features Oliva Munn's topless debut on the big screen.

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About Cherry: Ashley Hinshaw completely erases any memory of her as a teen actress when she appears nude in a number of graphic scenes in About Cherry. Hindshaw plays a girl on the verge of womanhood. Her character takes a few nude photos which lead her down the slipper slope into the world of porn. The most memorable nude moment comes when Heather Graham—who seemingly revives a more mature version of her character in Boogie Nightstalks dirty to Hinshaw's character, instructing the actress on how to tease her way out of a "naughty school girl" outfit. After seeing Hinshaw nude, audiences will agree with Graham's character, who tells Hinshaw, "You're a work of art."

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Rust and Bone: The paparazzi took more than a few photos of Marion Cotillard topless in the ocean while the Academy Award winner filmed a scene for Rust and Bone. As with other French actresses, in the photo she did not appear particularly shy about being nude. This confidence plays in contrast to what her character feels about her body after losing her legs. The scene of her naked, legless body having sex forces audiences to confront the reality of the character's altered situation, and it also makes for one of the most haunting sex scenes of the year.

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Attack of the 50ft Cheerleader: I seriously doubt any theater screened this low budget remake of the cult classic, but I included it because of the novelty of its nude scenes. The final showdown features two giant cheerleaders in a massive cat fight, for which audiences are given the blow-by-blow commentary from the football announcer: "Bitch slap. Counter bitch slap." Shirts are lost, boobs bounce, and cheerleading moves are adapted into martial arts maneuvers. The highlight of the topless fight comes when one of the giantesses uses her boobs to block a karate chop.

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The Dictator: After Bruno took male nudity to a whole new level with a slowmotion dick flopping segment that concluded with the actor's penis saying, yes saying, "Bruno!" Sacha Baron Cohen actually kept things fairly tame with The Dictator. Aside from Megan Fox making a cameo appearance as a call-girl, one of the film's most memorable moments comes when the Dictator's goat-herding body-double milk's a topless woman.

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Catfight "Attack Of The 50 Foot Cheerleader" by sexycatfights5050


Piranha 3DD nudes by mcintyre787


Sarah Silverman & Michelle Williams- Naked- Take... by rob1187


Kristen Stewart Topless Sex Scenes from On the... by Badlandz


Ashley Hinshaw - nude Cherry by TheStart21

Comments (2)

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Well said..I am exactly looking for the same post that I have got at your blog, I am not sure if someone can let me know, is
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Posted by Dulcina Garcia on 02/12/2013 at 11:15 AM

Where's the topless scene with Kristen Stewart, where the three actors are naked in the front seat? I rented the movie, and at that part Kristen's nipples are out of view, below the dash board. (I've seen the photo with full breasts - same scene.) Someone please e-mail me the TIMESTAMP - (first)_(last) at rocketmail (dot) com. Thanks. Maybe there's a flashback later to that point in the movie? I don't know how I missed it. I also watched the deleted scenes.
-- Rodney Cooper

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Posted by Rodney_Cooper on 09/01/2013 at 11:37 AM
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